Even the best of husbands make mistakes, that’s a given. You can never be inside another person’s head and know exactly what they’re thinking or wishing – you’re not psychic. Sometimes, even after decades of marriage you’re bound to do something wrong, but the key to being the best husband you can possibly be lies in constant learning, and that’s why we’re here today – to provide your with fairly simple and effective ways that will make your spouse thing: “What did I do to deserve you?”
The Little Big Things
This might be stating the obvious, but there are more guys out there than you might think who are guilty of the following crimes. First of all, remember important dates; birthdays, anniversaries, even the day you first met, if that’s what your spouse remembers and wants celebrated. Don’t let milestones slip your mind and don’t be lazy when it commemorating these moments. Know what your partner’s favourite flowers are, what she would like to do on that day, and do it, even if you don’t think it’s that big a deal. It is for her, and it won’t hurt you to put a reminder in your calendar if it will make her happy. Beyond that, there is research to confirm that one of the secrets to a happy and lasting marriage is celebrating moments like these, at least according to The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by Dr. John Gottman.
Don’t Mansplain Things
Mansplaining is one of the worst things you can do, in a relationship and in a marriage. What you have to realize is that your wife is smart and she knows stuff about stuff, so never assume you automatically know better and are therefore there to ‘enlighten’ her. Never be condescending and patronize her.
Don’t worry, admitting you’re wrong or even keeping things to yourself when you’re certain you’re right doesn’t take away from your masculinity, but it does make you a better husband. It makes you the kind of husband who treats his wife as the equal she is, and that’s what being a real man is all about; respect, listening and valuing your spouse’s opinions. Oh yeah, and equality.
Don’t let go It’s no secret that marriages fail, although statistics for Australia and New Zealand alone are actually quite encouraging as they state that the divorce rate has been on a steady decline. However, if the road in your marriage gets rocky and you hit a major bump in the road, don’t just call it quits. Fight for your love, and if you can’t manage to work it out on your own, turning to an unbiased third party, such as face-to-face counselling services is one of the best things you can do. Sometimes you need that fresh perspective that comes from a trained professional who doesn’t take sides when you aren’t able to see clearly through the fog.
Don’t let yourself go While there is a very common misconception that as a man, you get better looking as you get older, it’s not always true. It is however quite important for a marriage, no matter how superficial it may seem. When you stop exercising and give in to junk food it doesn’t only send a message that you’ve stopped caring about your looks, it sends the message that you don’t care if your spouse is attracted to you. Yes, after a while passion fades, but it shouldn’t. You should always be crazy about each other and desire one another. So, in order to prevent the spark from fading out of your lives, make the effort to stay sexy and healthy for your loved one. Do it for yourself as well; keeping yourself fit can do wonders at eliminating self-esteem and body image issues and doubts.
If your wife hates the fact that you leave your shirts all around the apartment, on every surface that may seem convenient for dumping clothes on – nip that behaviour in the bud. We don’t live in the 1950s anymore, so don’t expect your wife to go around and constantly pick up after you. If she gives you a simple task, like taking out the trash or replacing the light bulbs, just do it, no postponing. It’s a five-minute errand that won’t cost you anything but will bring a humongous amount of satisfaction to your wife. She will feel heard and she will feel like she’s not holding down the fort that is your home all by herself.
Working too hard, feeling down and constantly being under stress can take a toll on you mentally and physically, as well as your health and masculinity. However, just because you’re not as active as you once were doesn’t mean you aren’t a real man any more – it simply means you have to work on your self-esteem and elevate your level of masculinity. Luckily, this is quite easy in this day and age and there are tons of ideas that can help, so here’s how to boost your masculinity in five easy steps.
The first rule of feeling great is looking great and vice versa. You may be satisfied with your body even if you’re a bit overweight, but looking your best means striving towards achieving your maximum potential. Since the connection between self-esteem and body image is quite strong and undoubtedly obvious, looking your best might be the perfect way to boost your masculinity. This is just one of many benefits that come after a successful weight-loss process, so it’s something you definitely need to do. Nevertheless, this process is neither easy nor fast, so be patient, persistent and, above all, ready to invest all you have.
Many men, especially upon reaching their 40s and 50s, have a problem with the way they look, but instead of focusing on their receding hairline, grey beard and saggy body, they shift their attention to the wrinkles that appear on their face. Being a natural result of getting older, wrinkles are something nobody can avoid, yet they’re the reason why many men can’t sleep at night. Again, modern medicine offers a solution and you can always decide to give wrinkle treatment a shot, but only with a trustworthy professional. Keep in mind that Botox is just one of many different cosmetic surgery treatments that can solve all your problems, improve your confidence and boost your self-esteem and masculinity.
Speaking of receding hairlines, this is something that has been giving men a headache since the beginning of time. Losing your hair is often connected to the level of testosterone, but a receding hairline often has nothing to do with the lack or abundance of this hormone in your body. It has a lot to do with genetics, your diet and your lifestyle, but instead of lamenting over the curly hairdo you used to have back in the day, you should explore a new hairstyle that work well with less hair. Moreover, look into a reliable hair growth program and solve your problems for good since more hair will boost your self-esteem, so you’ll feel much better and give off a more positive vibe.
Even if you have no problem with a receding hairline and wrinkles, chances are you suffer from small imperfections that don’t seem like a lot, but can still ruin your day, lower your self-esteem and make you question your masculinity. These imperfections are often found in the face and neck area, and it’s all about the sagginess that comes with age and those boring lines around your mouth. This is the reason why more and more men are interested in a simple yet highly effective thread lift that quickly, painlessly and non-invasively raises their necks, cheeks and brows. This procedure minimizes the effects of aging and can do wonders for your looks, literally in a matter of minutes.
No matter how old you are, there’s nothing worse for a man than having problems in the bed. Not being able to satisfy your partner and do your best will make your self-esteem plummet and ruin all your hard work. That’s why you must address your potential sexual problems as soon as you notice them as ignoring these issues might be the worst thing you could do. Namely, some of these problems can sometimes lead to more serious issues and really damage your health, so be sure to check them out and treat them as soon as possible.
Some of the other ways to boost your masculinity include taking up a masculine hobby, flirting and going out more often, joining the gym and spending more time with your male friends.
Peter is a men's grooming and health writer at The Beard Mag & High Style Life magazines, living between UK and Australia. Beside writing he worked as a grooming consultant for many fashion events around UK & Australia too! Follow Peter on Twitter for more men’s grooming tips.